


People of Interest

by lazyroughdrafts



Category: Elementary, Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: AU, F/F, F/M, Or major canon divergence to the point of being AU, This is crack, nothing but crack and fluffed out feels, pure unadulterated crack, seriously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-21
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-31 14:25:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3981418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lazyroughdrafts/pseuds/lazyroughdrafts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Root wants to talk about things. Shaw doesn't.</p><p>Joan rolls her eyes a lot. Shaw is oblivious to certain assumptions. Lionel feels put upon. </p><p>Jaime has heart eyes for Joan. And Sherlock is trying to make sense of it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	People of Interest

**Author's Note:**

> I did mention this was utter crack right?

He catches her completely off-guard. One minute they're debating in ever more strident whispers the wisdom of joining forces with the motley crew that has descended upon The Brownstone--

 

And they had descended. They had positively swooped in.

Jaime had just come out of the shower. While Sherlock had been immersed in rehearsing his lines for Victor Frankenstein. Joan was out but due to return shortly from her lunch date with Oren. Introductions were largely vague but more or less forthcoming after the initial surprise. 

 

Sherlock was particularly amused with the very quaint suggestion from a bespectacled gentleman to think of them as  _Team Machine_ . He had in fact verbalised his exact thoughts, "How very quaint." 

 

Jaime had found herself staring intimately at weapons thrust in her face and wearing little more than a skimpy bathrobe, merely arched her brow regally despite her level of undress then stated the obvious, "Two guns." And then shrugged a shoulder before palming a barrel away from her face, "How very lame." This for reasons that were not forthcoming provoked a snort of derision from the other woman's companion. Joan for her part had blinked profusely when she first caught sight of the strange scene before declaring her delight in one syllable, "Shaw!"

 

\--And the next minute? Despite the general mayhem caused by the heavily armed strangers, Sherlock was still more concerned with wheedling Joan into revealing details of her secret love life.

 

 

"You've been made. Utterly. I have ascertained the cause of your poor spirits this last fortnight."

 

Joan was in no mood to humour him under the circumstances. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

 

"Watson, really. This is thoroughly disappointing. Your attempt at dissemblance is truly juvenile. And don't pretend you don't understand my meaning. Hmm?"

 

"I really don't. And I'm not pretending anything." She rubbed her forehead in some display of impatience but then rather unconvincingly allowed her eyes to stray in Jaime's direction. A stray gaze that rendered her denial even more unconvincing for having stayed on her person.

 

"You most certainly are." He scowled at her with mock disappointment and then paused for effect before revealing his discovery with a flourish, "My dear Watson, you've spent the last 14 days pining for Satan!"

 

She snapped back to attention.

 

"Now that she's back you've got a little twinkle in your eye again. That little extra bounce in your step. And I think you're desperately afraid to admit to yourself that--"

 

"What exactly am I afraid to admit?"

 

"That you. That you fancy her. That you have developed _feelings_ for her."

 

Watson rolls her eyes.

 

"Don't roll your eyes at me."

 

If possible Watson rolls her eyes with even more theatricality. In return, he stage whispers with just as much drama. "I think you want to do unspeakable things to her body with your body. I can tell."

 

"Just stop talking."

 

"Permit me to continue. Your body language is replete with the evidence. Physiological tells leaking information even you cannot control with your tyrannical obsession with 'hiding your feelings.' She's not even bloody trying to control hers."

 

She grows increasingly distracted by the sight of Jaime practically cooing over a stocky man with tight curly hair, "But you are so square." She says with something like breathless astonishment as she attempts to twirl him round so she can better appreciate him.

 

Distracted as she is, she lets it slip, "She's not. I wasn't."

 

"A-ha! There's no point denying it Watson. You've revealed yourself. Furthermore, I believe you've already done unspeakable things, haven't you?"

 

"Sherlock!"

 

"Don't be missish. You can talk to me about this. For what it's worth I've been observing your interactions closely for quite some time now. And you should know she's nothing if not indifferent. In fact I'm quite certain she's been scaring off your potential suitors."

 

But Joan is no longer listening, all her attention is directed towards the strange interaction playing out behind him.

 

"What the hell's the matter with you lady?" Detective Fusco sputters in indignation as he continually has to swat Jaime's wandering hands away. "It's adorable. Joanie, look how very square he is! Can we keep him?"

**Author's Note:**

> I missed my flight and this is what you get. Not that sorry.


End file.
